HELP IS AT HAND FOR YOUR EVERY NEED

Self-help has turned 150. Yes, it all started officially when Scottish author and reformer Samuel Smiles wrote a book of the same name in 1859. Since then mankind has turned to best-sellers to manage just about every aspect of their life, from marriage to motorcycle maintenance

Picture by Pabitra Das But if self-help is possible only through gurus — unless you are practising yoga watching videos — how is it self-help? The answer perhaps lies in the advice. It’s not what is said — it’s how it is said. Leadership management icon Robin Sharma, the man who wrote The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, was in town recently, speaking at an overflowing auditorium. “He didn’t say anything that I didn’t know, but he put it all so well, that I felt like following it,” said a middle-aged working woman. Maybe because the guru says things that we already know, we don’t notice anyone speaking at all! So self-help may be a contradiction in terms, but is a huge industry. Calcutta is no exception. Says Gautam Jatia of Starmark: “Self-help constitutes about 25-30 per cent of our total book sales. The pricing for self-help books is reasonable. Their reach is widespread. From 16 to 60, a self-help book appeals to everyone.” Adds Sidharth Pansari of Crossword: “Self-help is the fastest growing category. It comprises about 7 to 8 per cent of the total non-textbook, non-fiction range, which is a good share.” Why else would a writer attempt to pen a Bengali version of Who Moved My Cheese? A look at the areas where self-help has been sought the most over the years, through books, videos, online resources... Self-improvement Actress Shilpa Shetty has recently launched Shilpa’s Yoga, a self-help DVD on yoga The most alluring idea — if the self could be upgraded like a computer and job interviews aced, output maximised and the boss managed! “I had a strained relationship with my immediate superior, something that was affecting other aspects of my life. I even contemplated going in for counselling, but then reading a book (How to Manage Your Boss by David Hurst) really helped,” says Vandana Singhania, 27 (name changed). “A friend bulldozed me into reading Rhonda Byrne’sThe Secret. I haven’t applied its lessons to my situation, but there have been times I felt it could be effective. I want to go on a holiday, but I do nothing about it. The Secret suggests that I start believing that I am going on one, accordingly I will move towards actualising my wish,” says 28-year-old Devleena Chakraverty. Dale Carnegie’s How To Stop Worrying and Start Living is a firm favourite on the top 10 list of self-help books. See You At The Top by Zig Ziglar is a career self-help classic. Personality development It seems an improved self should be followed by a developed personality, the outward manifestation of the self. Your legs shake? You splutter or stammer? Symptoms of nervousness or lack of self-confidence! Go for self-help. “To get over my habit of stammering brought on by low self-esteem, I attended a couple of confidence-building sessions, but that didn’t help. Meditation and reading definitely did,” says Samrat Chatterjee (name changed), a software professional. Rehan Waris, who conducts public-speaking classes and tutors on building confidence, says that when it comes to personality development, self-help is a sure-shot remedy. (With a little bit of help from the right book.) “No one understands you better than yourself. Sessions and exercises build the foundation, but it is how the individual takes it forward subsequently that makes the difference,” says Waris. Cookery, health and fitness Rujuta Diwekar’s Don’t Lose Your Mind, Lose Your Weight is topping charts among self-help books. Books on fitness and cutting the flab may not have seen such a demand before. For health, it is Baba Ramdev, who has an entire channel dedicated to him — yoga for the mind and body. “I don’t have the time to exercise or go to the gym, but I have recently started doing some yoga pranayams taught by Guru Ramdev,” says Kashish Mukherjee, 28. Kashish is not alone. The Baba’s influence is much more widespread than Jimi Mistry’s in the 2002 tongue-in-cheek The Guru, where Mistry’s character played a spiritual leader with a huge following. Says yoga expert Amarjeet Ahluwalia: “Unlike gymming which requires equipment, yoga is predominantly self-help. I have many people who come in for a couple of classes and then do it at home themselves.” And if you don’t know the first thing about cooking, but want to say no to outside food, help may be just a mouse click away. “I love cooking. So I browse the Net for recipes that I can try. If something turns out to be really good, I put it up in my blog, for others to try,” says software professional Anil Roy Choudhury. Spiritual This is to help you stay in touch with your inner self, to maintain your calm in the face of all tension, challenges and adversities. And this area of self-help is one where video sales are on a par with books. “The videos are much more expensive. There is however a huge market for spiritual videos, such as Osho’s and Baba Ramdev’s,” says Jatia of Starmark. Joseph Murphy’s Power of Your Subconscious Mind has Calcutta hooked too. A “classic” in this genre is Thomas Moore’s Care of the Soul published in 1992. Hobbies From a happier, better, newer “me”, to a prettier house or learning a new skill, the do-it-yourself tips touch every part of life. “I love re-doing my house. I check up trends in various magazines, or sometime television and films and adapt them in my own way. It’s a good way to give free reign to my creativity,” says Anuradha Mukhejee, 50, with a smile. Anuradha loves to learn things her way. It was the same way that she learnt gardening. “I wasn’t in town and so couldn’t go to a gardening class. But I really wanted to learn bonsai making. Finally I started reading magazines and trying out the ways described. They weren’t all a success, but slowly I picked up, and now I teach others. It is very de-stressing and helps me unwind,” she says. Technical Pulling your computer apart or putting it together, learning the nuances of the stock market and managing your money, the self-help guru has advice for everything. “Till about two years ago, I was a complete novice when it came to investments. But a lot of reading and talking to knowledgeable people has helped. And in today’s times, it is better to trust one’s instincts, instead of wasting some more money paying a consultant,” laughs 28-year-old marketing professional Jatin Khilnani. Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, published back in 1937, has sold 20 million copies. Parenting From the first stage of pregnancy to how to communicate with your teenage kid, parenting is made fun for those willing to go that extra mile. Back In Control: How To Get Your Children To Behave and Pregnancy and Parenting are books that are readily picked up. Despite all this self-help, one problem remains. “When we hear you speak, we are very enthused. But this enthusiasm lasts for seven minutes, seven hours, seven days… how do we ensure that the enthusiasm is sustained?” a listener asked Robin Sharma. “If you speak about your excuses, you make them stronger. What you said is an assumption. For example, how can one be a world-class cricketer if he didn’t practise every day? Why not work on yourself every day?” said Sharma. Then the world would be full of world-class cricketers. What we need is a self-help book to help us follow the entire self-help regimen. Are the gurus reading? The Ferrari mantra Robin Sharma’s The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari is a huge best-seller about self-discovery and adopting simple means for a more complete living. Inspired by Sharma’s own experience, the book espouses nothing, said Sharma, which cannot be followed in one’s daily life. “I am not asking anyone to do anything that I don’t do myself. I work hardest on my principles,” said Sharma in Calcutta. He talks about cutting out unnecessary extras from life. “Most of us spend our lives busy being busy. My father used to read this poem to me that went ‘Spring is past, Summer has gone, winter is here and I haven’t sung the song of my life because I have been busy stringing and unstringing the instrument’,” said Sharma. “Most people spend more time planning their summer vacation than their life.” With the result that as you grow old, there is a long list of regrets. “Each day do five small things that will take you a step closer to your big thing. If you are stressed, count your blessings. You can’t be stressed when you are feeling grateful,” he recommended. The management guru also spoke of how every person can develop their own leadership qualities. “I think corporations have a responsibility to their employees to develop the best within them... And this also makes the companies more profitable. When employees are productive, engaged and happy, they are more loyal — and grow profits,” said Sharma, adding: “I think one of the big challenges faced by the youth is learning leadership values in a world where video games and TV have their attention. Kids need to learn about goal-setting and relationship building and the power of reading and good health.” But why the sudden flurry to develop the self? “We are progressing as a society. We are evolving and becoming aware of the need of not only being excellent in our work but also to find ways to be healthy in our work too. And we are learning various methods to be more productive in all we do and technology has changed all the rules of how we do business.”

Poulomi Banerjee and Priyanka Roy